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so ghurlfrens came online even sms too and we started to chat abt BGR and insecurities. she dealing w hers. im thinking how am i off help to sucha thing when ive never really been in one where it involves my emotions, feeling it all. nurul say maybe because i listen, i offer a shoulder to cry on. do i even speak sense to the ghurlfrens? but the magical part of it is that they feel much better as though i speak sensibly. i still think its weird.

i say BGR is something i dun even know if i can handle it when i experience it myself.(ghurlfrens ur not alone). being emotional doesnt help either. all this made me think. think too hard maybe. some part of me is telling me BGR is troublesome, ur a happy ghurl so why need boys. but the other part of me says, ouh eventhough i have all the bestest ghurlfrens in the world, i do feel lonely, i do want that speacial someone.

on another note, things happen for a reason. it might break you or make you. also, shit happen in between. i say life is unpredictable. take it wen it comes, thinking too much doesnt help at all either. so being paradox here, i will be sleeping on the thoughts. mayb it wld help w my current insomniac.

ghurls, hang in there. do know im always here for you. loves n tc.

love.

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finally, im back online at this time. i realise how much im attached to my laptop. ouh yes, i got the job. as i have expected, they asked me to work immediately. being a workaholic i extended up to 12 midnight. this morning, i came work at 9 am. got a lil scolding from daddy, but daddy you cant help it wen your daughter here thinks noting but money to fill up her time.

workplace is getting filled up with too many RP-ians, from year ones all the way to year threes. lyke sheesh. this morning, i had this trainee. the ferst question he asked was 'are you from RP?' hmm mayb i have that abbreviation chopped all over my face.

PLS tell my why isnt the people i want to talk to not online?!
):

love.

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suddenly my schedule for holidays is full. lyke really full. just wen i tot im jobless this holiday, BUT NO, i have an interview scheduled at 1 pm tomorrow. great, just great. haha. the sudden decision to work is that my shopping list is building up and i cant imagine myself not having my own income. blergh. workworkwork

also, i have a gazillion days to bayar pausa :S im working on that. it will end in never erm no time i mean.

ouh yar btw, my laptop is being sucha bitch that i feel lyke smashing it to the wall. urgh. bro's comp isn that fantastic either.urgh

i know im just full of complaints this tyme. boohoo. blame it on the lappy.
love.

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since lappy aka hoody (named by nessa!) is going through a full system scan, lets make this entry quick. one and a half years with lappybaby, ive decided that it should go through a revamp this holiday. i say we make a list of my own definition. hee :D

1. system back up
2. hard disk [checked!]
3. get the faulty cd reader replaced
4. purchase a good anti virus programme since RP is full of virusshits
5. send for reformatting
6. re d/l everything
7. mayb get hoody my own touch of lappyskin

yay! we are done!

everythings gonna mean it wld take a reallyreally long time.
shit i just remembered i wanner start on my 2000 word essay writing.
blergh

determined. but acheivable?
hahhahaaha

love.

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his got wayy too much muscles for all of us
alalalala... my minah sayangs!

and... here we go! shadow poses (:

one year of frenship. and many more to look forward to hunny <3

i think if i dont see/talk to you for one day. im gonna miss you loads.

will be missing working w u. cheers w 2 years of frenship and many more to come

LOVES!

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smudged eyeliner and mascara. dry lenses. teary eyes

before i start all my emo post about how much i will be missing my E35L peeps, i just want to do a shout out that you suck. yes you.

i say this time semester 1 for year 2 passed damn fast and i thought i have just walked into that class a week ago. but as much as i didnt realise it, 16 weeks have passed just like that. i remember the ghurls telling me that i was a late bloomer to start socialising with the class. haha. i dun remember at all la! all i know is that i had a greatgreatgreat time with each and everyone of you. my love scandals. those who made me convert into a bi for real

eventhough i socialised late, i did the organising of outings (: the first succesful one was baybeats. that was simply marvellous. my ferst baybeats trip and many more gigs came after that. chilling out after class was another splendid moment. just make this easy, i love all of u la!

reality is hitting me hard now. there wont be anymore smiles in the morning frm u ghurls. no more toilet breaks. no more of the much over-rated bitching and boy watching. i swear this class made my mind corrupted more than ever. im glad i didnt fall into the class porno shit. my mind is still free from pornoshits.

and ahahah... saifuddin. im sorry if u happen to be in too many awkward moments. everything was uncalled for. but ur the man really! u take it cool (: LOL (cant believe im mentioning this la. haha!)

i say we should have a picnic outing to sentosa, every single one of you, i dun care if you're a one day classmate, you being there still matters kaes. set?

ouh yar! nicky boy says im photogenic. Heee :D

Best Lines of E35L
kecho!
nice one!
mental image!!!
cheeky
PORN
tell me about it
suweeet!
sayang
hugs
love

love.
(pics will come real soon)

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ahaha... we are talking about money again. this sucks.
bye la.


love.

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i really wanted a 5 day school but i had this greeting me in my mailbox, early in the morning. what i really wanted was photography and digital imaging, none of this four. on a second thought, you can never really get what you want in life.


your only a click away. as cliche as it might sound, i say your just so near yet so far.


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kaira was spilling sweet notings while staring in my eye. i have no choice but to blush because im having mental images of you. yes you the much needed distraction of my lingering thoughts.

love.

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work was amazingly fast.
lunch was pretty okay.
the gig, sweeeeet~! esp Bismuth (:
the movie had me laughing my ass off, a real much needed one.
fireworks was spectacularly breathtaking.

anndd, OUH OUH popcorn HOT and embarassing momentS! *blushes away!*

ghurlsfrens and laugthers, PRICELESS!
the best horny yellow minded 'groupies' u can ever have.
all of you.
sherilyn.nesha.nessa.imah.amalina.bev.sarah

love.

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I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

i love you. pls take care.

love.

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yet another boring lesson for microbiology. supermanhoody is definitely my new love. it comforted me during nervous moments when im just about clueless as the faci started asking questions. clad with a bad headache, the concentration span was really low. read the same line for 10 times or even more, yet noting registered. mental block i shall say.

the class was a lil bit more noisey than usual which didnt help it when i cant seem to process not even a word from any resources. ahh.. but it didnt matter. things got better during 3rd meeting. a lil more laughs here and there. it was a strange wen the boys started to talk alot. they get all chatty abt motorbikes and bacterias too. hehee

nurul, how are u doing? im kinda worried. u never reply my sms seh!

feeling all lazy right now, lying on the sofa, watching incredible tales while blogging. RJ not done cz RP site is down. kental seh.

gawd! i dozed off without even pressing publish post. this is getting from bad to worst.
love.

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go sing it in the miss congeniality tune, if u know wat i mean

I GOT MY HOODY
MY SUPERMAN HOODY
I THINK ITS PRETTY
I LOVE IT SOO MUCH
I LOVE YOU TOO

(:

impulse plan to shop after work was the best. made our way to bugis. got a few new tops. i say, good karma is on my side this time.im loving it. i hope it last longg. lyke really really. (:

love.

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giving ONE BROWNIE
sai saifudd din saifuddin.ghurlfrens.me

throws in excitement and screams and blurrness.
hahaha
there u go, one goood episode and abt me and my hearty-baked brownie

(:

all in all, the day ended in a good note. thanks ghurlfrens for being there, every single one of u. heh =D

rj update

3 sentences. submit. weird?
weird.
OK.

love.

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this is the fifth consecutive school day that i woke up late. cldnt wake up more like it. urgh. but today was different. i still dragged my way to school, mayb cz i cant pon anymore. i think my body seem to be giving up on school. my mind too. today's rj gonna be weird.

really weird.
love.

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bakinng is the new.love

spent my whole sunday morning&afternoon baking for aunt.love and ghurlfren. since there isnt any boyfren yet to bake for. hahaha. and i looove the frosting. it cheered the whole family up and ofcz daddy too. daddy's birthday is tomorrow btw. the usual, celebration at the esplanade, 2 hot halal cafe.

i never knew baking could be some therapy for the heart cz im feeling much better after last night's melt down. ouh watever. a phase that everyone goes through, guess its my turn now.

ok ok enough of this shittyemo feelings coz IM A HAPPY GOOBER W MY LOVELY BAKINGS (:

pfft.. once again off to work ):
love.

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my friday started out badd. woke up an hour late for classss but still made my way to the interchange. called nessa up, she also felt lyke not going to class. so i had breakfast at BK, the ever so lovely criossant (:

met up the class for first break for our usual kafe esplanade 'thang'. they kept asking us to go for class but nahhh i dun feel lyke it anyway. so i tot we could have watched some movie while waiting for dem for lunch. i tot of watching The Simpsons since thats the latest movie i remembered a friend would have, but cldnt get hold of him.

finally after a really loooooongggggg wait, the class were ready for lunch. YAY. work place had to call and asked if i wanted to come down for 1-hour activation which means, 9 bucks per hr + a free taxi trip to the office. the offer was too hard to resist and ooffff.... i went to work.

with 18 bucks pocketed and the 20 bucks taxi fare i went off to met up ghurlfrens at Esplanade. the meeting was surreal. the usual, hugs and kisses, but this time it was so much more. the night was filled with utterly pure love. (and i soo cant believe that i bumped into fuckerfitri there! OMG of all ppl!)

met up w sis for a sleepover at her bestie's place where we played pool and watched movies. i think the movie watched me sleeping rather than i watch it. heh.

friday im in love.
love.

the game is over.

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the weather was soo pretty today that i started cursing for making myself go to work. i was thinking that i could have gone rollerblading, cycling or at least sumting not associated to work and school. but NO. they attractive pay had to rip off plans. all in all, after talking almost non-stop for 11 hrs, i came back home pocketing 110 bucks. that should at least put on a lil smile on this tired face of mine. (:

at work, heard abt the HORROR of the new location of our work place and how the interview went. as expected, they are desperate for us, the workers. im seriously having second tots now if i shld go for the interview eversince i postponed it. im thinking if they really are that desperate mayb come next sem break i might consider working back there. hmmm... =/

thank god, marni smsed me wen i was abt to end work. chatted a lil on the phone n we planned a date w us, Sara Faraninada (: with some missing members though. but i figured its gonna be fun. fireworks&makansutra. YAY!

2mrws gonna be an interesting day after all. cheers to that!

ouh btw, Happy National Day.
(i dun feel patriotic at all this year, infact lifeless)

looking.at.these.pink.rosey.cheecks.of.mine.reminds.me.of.you.
(:
love.

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ive decided to complete my course of medication prescribed to me. this is quite shocking cz i never really did tried attempting for the past years that ive been sick. unless forced. but now that im older, i realise that wen im sick i become whiny (ops to much info there!) and i hate myself for being that way.

therefore at 1.30 am, i popped the 8 tablets, not at one go ofcourse. i'll die that way! im loving my muscle relaxant tablets very well that i feel lyke having it every now and then. hahah. new addiction? mayb. hope not! it makes me have screetchless and soundless sleep at night, sometimes in class too which i seldom do.

i really want to get well soon.
Amin!


lost in the world of interpretations
i shall stop doing this really
cz i think im getting paranoid

love.

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last night, sarah and i slept late despite knowing the fact that we will be working extra early the next morning. so we decided to give each other a wake up call + SMS. the sms works as an assurance that we both are really awake coz i usually sleep back after the call. haha. she does too. and in the end we would turn up to work later den expected.

but this time, we decided to be late for work cz we know we are already getting fired this 30th. so who cares (: 8 in the morning at work isnt that bad after all. there werent much calls. shockingly! i swear today customers can be so dumb. i just dont get them or is it that they dun get me? zzzz...

me: and ur unit number would be?
customer: yah
me: sir, your unit number.
customer: yah
me: sir wat abt your door number sir?
customer: ouh... # ....

dont bodoh pls!
there were so many times la. not only unit number, upsize also. everything la. so sheesh!

guess ive not recovered from the viral infection and decided to postpone the interview. hope its ok w them.

BUT

i'll be looking forward to work 2mrw (: 10 bucks per hour! who doesnt man! as scheduled i'll be working for 6 hours. thats 60 bucks for that day only. yayness! i think i'll extend till 8 pm. heee. tsk tsk. $_$

hope to recover soon (:
Amin
love.

p/s: E35L peeps, lets go watch a movie soon kaes. disturbia mayb?
countdown: 2 more weeks to end of semester =/

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today i could barely wake myself up. must be the meds. the hottie doc was more interested on wat i did in school rather than wat he will be prescribing me. hmm... mayb cz he asked which course i am taking. hmmm...

the muscle relaxant worked so well that the body went numb wen i slept in the bus on the way to school. lucky there werent any familiar faces or else it wld be damn paiseh la. walked in the class looking half dead and kaira had to ask if i sleep walked to class. haha. nice one kaira! well.. actually kinda true

today's lesson was so blergh... i wasnt concentrating at all. i know the steps but i just cldnt figure out wat the steps were for, that was the reason i did the lab report for procedure section only and saiiifffuudddd (HAHA) even notice our grp presentation damn cock up. i admit, yes it was. ):

ouh. can.we.not.talk.abt.biochem.ut.
thank god that was the final test for the semester

so i felt depressed because im sick, i think i fail the test and your actions just making me go bonkers day after day. soo, i started binging. it was nick's treat anyway. on the way home, i feel disgusted of myself. ):

ghurlfrens, im free.*hints* but i know u all are having exams soon. i'll wait patiently for a retail therapy trip kkkaes!

i know.u know. our frens know.
so wat now?
i feel dumb. very dumb

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yesterday night was awesome! that it made me go speechless. the only reason is that i lost my voice ghurls night out with saifuddin along (:

we watched bismuth, everybody loves irene, fire fight as well as some grp frm china! every group were great till it got to the china group. lyke sheesh... we got free CD from bismuth, bought firefight CD and d/l-ed everybody loves irene. pretty hot stuff i must say

shank you? wth.

i was really hyper last night that my sickness was gone temporarily but it got back damn bad. there was once during the band i got a really bad headache. since i was in btwn sherilyn and saifuddin, i decided to rest on her shoulders BUT she started head banging! i looked to my right, it was saifuddin. i cant simply rest on his shoulders la! in the end i just held on to his hoody. just in case. i bet he ddint notice at all.

dinner at marina was another hyper moment. the topic of rowther came about. haha. while at ljs, it strucked me that i dun have enough cash on me that i needed to withdraw some. dun want to borrow cash frm the ghurls, felt bad. i left to get sum cash but i realised that atm was far. so i got back. thanks yar for waiting! (:

that nighttt.. i couldnt sleep at all cz i had a swollen throat, asthma attack & block nose. can u imagine how i was suppose to breath. so as u figured, i didnt sleep a wink.

im totally shagged and sick now in class. suppose to gather more notes but my brain just cant function.

i pray for my health and u as well
lucks for the test too. mayb.
love.

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didnt sleep well last night. woke up damn early this morning. mayb cz the throat is being sucha bitch. im losing my voice and currently it sounds lyke im a man. damnnn.. not today, not 2mrw, not tuesday!

ouh sheesh.

as the throats getting scartched every milisecond, the tv has noting to show. ouh so comforting! NOT. well, they overplayed the NDP song, not that its that nice but it just reminds me of the lil pink building we all belonged too for 10 years. ouh so sweet~! i miss the love, the joy, the hugs, the smile, the tears, the ramblings abt being a moral student, child, daughter ouh watever it is, i just miss every inch of it and the souls that inhibits there.

now that it has moved to a new location, the feeling is not the same and never will be.

mother just got to know abt my throat thing, she decided to boil me some porridge cz i can barely swallow aniting. she never mentioned abt me not to go out 2nyte. eeheh.. i'll snick right through it. (:

i have a feeeling baybeats will worsen my condition cz of the crowd, moshpits, sweaty smelly armpits waving in the air, i might even get an asthma attack. but i aint gonna miss this once in a year thing ya know! sms-ed syafie this morning, he cant make it. ouh wells, probably cz his soon-to-be gf cant make it too (: ehehe syafie! but he wished me luck, we both know wats it for.

told him straight on, notings gonna happen anyway. but if aniting do really happen, i MIGHT need it!

*ouh cmon shanie, stop it!*

just hope dat i can make it home safely and my condition will not worsen, if can better (:

im suppose to study for 2mrw's and tuesday's test but i dun feel lyke it. headaches acting up. thats another bitch. its been there since wednesday morning. i feel lyke giving up on the test, lyke totally give up without even attempting to sit for the paper. i dunnow. biochemistry is juz not my kinda thing. but i know myself too well, i'll be present for the test and try my best. (:

on a lighter note, i checked my mail and i got a pretty interesting and weird (at the same time) mail that greeted me this morning. its frm frenster btw.

from: elliot ( no pic, no profile written up, no frens, no noting)
subject: wanne meet you
message: hello there can i get to know you msg me at 9******2 u look cute my name is james 21 years old msg me

even though i think the name elliot is pretty hot. but, HAHAHAHAHAHHA. i shall not start commenting abt this. =p

having said that much, i need to get my ass off this couch and right on to the study chair there. its warm and cool there waiting for my pretty butt (: to land it. ouh yeah! ehehehhe...

time check 1.15 pm, meeting the gang at 5.30.
love.

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WOOOTS 2mrw baybeats!
buttttttt
im doing w a bad sore throat and many more
):

i dun want to show that im really sick
later, 2mrw cannot go for baybeats
can u imagine i go for baybeats, cannot shout for ckris?
aww sad man!
tsk tsk at inflamation

if anything, BISMUTH esplanade arena, 6.30 pm kaes
<3
i'll put picsssss fer sure

tc all (:

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partied hard, partied wild
with ghulfrens
night full of love
and being loved
and fallen

i just cant stop smiling really.
(:

i like hoody; i want hoody

next up, baybeats
cant wait for that!
woohoo!

but before that
anatomy ut.applied chem ut.
=s

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